Nose Bleed

napkin under my nostril
right hand on the wheel
coloring crayons paint the sky
during the afternoon at two
that school some 17 miles away
why the fuck do I even bother

should I get help
the code red asked me
nah I say
all these concoctions of an allergy
is just normal practice

And here comes the quarantine
sanitize the entire room of
that nose bleed
well excuse me, princess,
didn't know it was such
a big deal

looking up
pretending I was somewhere else
glares all around
my eyes say fuck them right back
left hand makes a simple beat

I sit and shit
a voice asks if i'm here
I want to just say nothing
it's a waste anyway
and yes I am, begrudgingly,

every tissue burned to the ground
the garbage doused at 451 degrees
the desk was gone
because of my nose bleed
make such a big deal
I want to leave

the office door swings
concerned faces
it's okay
I think I know I wonder
why now of all times

muffled questions about
gas and money
4 cars here but I come
anyway
ready to work
bleeding nose or no

I give the same little practice
at the college school
wiping the nose bleed
I remind everyone
I need to take my medication

I must look like an angel
a gobble of residue falls in my mouth
now I can't speak
in the midst of a meeting
I get a straw for my soda

my coworker asks
if i sanitized the wipers
yes I say
I know why he asks
but I what I don't know
is why I felt so much more admonishment
at that school
than at work
the same inconvenient nose bleed
and yet I was more complacent
willing and able
maybe it's a test of my ability
of wanting to be here or not
I don't know
maybe
I should just stop
thinking
about it.
the nose bleed, that is.